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    #2.5:I'm sick  echo $newRAM;
    added Thu July 06 2006 at 8:43 PM
    0 comments
    Steve and I were discussing the intricacies of interpretting the female mind the other day, and he was kind enough to write out a scale for how a girl feels about a guy when he calls her for a date. Unfortunately, I erased that conversation so I'm going to just wing it:

    1. I want you. Let's elope. Now.
    2. That sounds like a lot of fun, let's go for it
    3. I'm sorry, but I'm really busy and you're not exciting enough to break my plans
    4. I really don't want to date you
    5. Get away from me, you stalker freak!

    Now, the really fun part is that girls have a bad habit of masking what their interest level is for various reasons, most of which are completely beyond the comprehension of my small mind. They may be desperately wishing for a second date, but they don't want to look desparate so they become standoffish (yes, that's a real word). This will make the guy think that they're at about a 4, when they're actually a 2. On the other hand, they may be cringing every time they see your number, but can't bring themselves to breaking your heart (or whatever), so they bump themselves from a 4 or 5 to a 3 (with the exception of "I'm washing my hair that night," which is not-so-subtle for "take a hike, buddy." Not that I would know).

    Of course, the guy's goal is to try to guess what interest level she is trying to show so that he (a) doesn't miss an opportunity at a great relationship, (b) knows when it's time to just give up, or (c) puts on the telephoto lens, cause she's not coming down tonight. Whether or not the girl sends a clear signal, the guy is held completely liable for any misinterpretations.

    Now, I'd hoped to be able to avoid the dreaded middle ground of "I'm sorry, but I'm busy" by not setting a specific time. A nebulous "you want to ___ sometime this weekend" was supposed to force her to give a glimpse of her hand and let me know if I should just give up, because I hate playing these mind-reading games. But how do you classify "I'm sick and drugged up so I can't leave the house"?

    I lay my retreat out very carefully by asking if she might be interested next weekend (she can't stay sick forever, right?), to which she responded that I should call her next week and see how she's doing. Well, at least that leaves the phone lines open.