|added Tue July 26 2005 at 6:27 AM
|Except this morning, the sky wasn't even that gray. At least not as bad as yesterday, at any rate. And it's not the worst morning I've ever had, as far as motivation is concerned, but it was only the second day in a long time that I thought about calling in sick. Yesterday was the other day.
I called Steve and got the number that I needed to call in. I even dialed it. I lay there and considered my options-- weighed the value of my two sick days-- and never pressed Send. I threw on a shirt and paid a quick visit to the bathroom mirror to tame my hair and stumbled into the kitchen, buttoning my shirt as I went. I grabbed the usual lunch, put on my shoes, and walked out the door. I still haven't tied the shoes.
I don't regret in the slightest having gone down to Maryland to visit Mom. The current downhill slide started well before the trip. I'd been looking forward to talking with her in person about how inadequate I've been feeling at work, and life in general. I was feeling a lot better, though. At one point I was starting to feel rather melancholy, but I just took a straight line to the couch and took a nap. I needed the sleep to prepare for the trip home anyway.
Maybe I'll plan on calling in sick on Friday. If I don't feel any more energetic, it would be nice to have three days where I don't have to get out of bed until I get bored of laying there. And that won't happen for a long time. For now, though, I'm at work. And I'll honestly try my best to be productive and earn my keep. I'm planning on forcing myself to stay for the long haul to make up a couple hours from only working half a day yesterday. Maybe I'll soon wake up from this mourning.