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    Going crazy  echo $newRAM;
    added Mon June 07 2004 at 11:18 PM
    I wrote a letter to Danny over the weekend and sent it to her email. It felt rather Junior High, but at the same time, things needed to be said. Basically, I was just explaining my stand on various issues, including relationships in general, mission, etc. I thought about including a couple quotes from that letter, but I think most of it is stuff that I've talked about before. Pretty much saying that I can't tell her why I haven't been on a mission, I don't know if I'll go, and I understand the social implications that has. Also said that I wasn't looking for potential marriage, but somebody to help take away the loneliness.

    That kind of thing... Nice, long letter spelling out where I stand on a lot of BYU nonsense. I sent it on Saturday.

    And haven't heard from her since.

    First of all, I know that I'm being paranoid. But on the other hand, it really does feel like she avoiding me. It's funny, because when we're together, I definitely get the feeling that she's interested (the way she acts, and moves, etc). I may not be an expert on picking up signs, but these were all pretty in-your-face obvious. However, the last couple weeks, it seems like when we're not together, she has no desire to get together, and right now I'm going crazy because I know that she realizes all she has to do to talk to me is turn on AIM and I'd say hi. Or send an email. Or something. And yet she doesn't.

    I'm used to rejection, but I'd at least like to have my heart handed back to me. I hate having it torn out and held away for such long periods of times. As I hold my breath and hope to get an email or message from her one way or the other.

    New backgrounds  echo $newRAM;
    added Mon June 07 2004 at 11:25 PM
    I uploaded 100+ new backgrounds today. I dunno if anybody even uses my daily backgrounds, but they can be found at can easily add different sizes, but won't do so unless somebody requests a different size. I will also eventually be adding an interface to see old pictures and a link to today's image from the front page. I've been meaning to do this for a couple months, and my increased activity (with Eliza's site) is a good indicator that I might get around to it.

    I don't even know what tomorrow's picture is going to be, but I hope you all enjoy it.