|added Tue July 01 2003 at 12:11 AM
|"Don't take pictures of me." They always say... and usually they give some comment about how horrible they look in pictures, and so on and so forth. But what I've noticed is that people rarely look as bad as they think in pictures. It's just such a weird concept to see yourself frozen in one position. Plus, it's backwards. Think about it... every time you look into the mirror, you see a mirror image of yourself. That little dimple that's on your left cheek looks like it's on its right cheek. Your hair that is always combed to the right looks like it's combed to the left. And then you look at a picture of yourself, and all of a sudden everything is backwards. Well, guess what... this is how everybody else sees you.
But why do I take pictures, anyway? Well, first of all, because everybody *loves* looking at pictures. They pull out a full envelope of Kodak moments and they flip through all of them. It doesn't even matter if they know anybody in the pictures... it's just fun to look at them. And when they look at them on my website, it's no exception. People rarely read all this junk that I write in RandOMnesS and JPsDocs. But as soon as you say "pictures," they all run to their nearest computer. If I keep the pictures current, there's more chance that people will read the current writings.
Furthermore, they serve as time capsules for me. I can look back at the pictures I took my freshman year and remember what a great guy Josh Campos was/is. Five years from now, I can look at all the great times that I was having, and maybe recall a few names from the faces. I have a horrible memory... if I don't do this little bit to help me remember the past, then what past will I have? It's the same reason that everybody else takes pictures... to remember the good times. I just share that a little more publicly... but is it any surprise? My only journal is also posted on the net. What fun is a chest full of dusty pictures? What good is a lot of writing that nobody else is allowed to read? I only get something out of it if I share it with everybody else... so I post it all on my website.
The last reason I take pictures is a bit more selfish. I bought a rather expensive digital camera, and it doesn't do any good while it's sitting on a shelf. So if I take lots of pictures of all my friends and the people I spend time with, then I feel somewhat justified in spending all that money. So I'm trying to justify my greed by using this expensive piece of equipment.
So don't stop me from taking pictures... and don't bother blocking your face, cause I'm not limited by the amount of film... I'll just keep snapping away. Candid shots are usually the best anyway... because people get too self-conscious when they know there's a picture being taken. Their wonderful smiles become plastered and fake, and the pictures really don't look as good as real life. So just relax... don't worry about the camera. My aim is to capture a glimpse of my life to share it with those that care. Yes... I'm going to take pictures of you.
|added Tue July 01 2003 at 12:24 AM
|I need something to do. Now, don't get all excited mom. I'm not referring to weeding or cleaning or any other thing that you can think of that fills my time. I don't need something to fill my time, I've got lots that can do that. I need something to **do**... so that when I'm driving to and from my daily activities, I have something to think about. So that as I lay awake in bed, I have something to ponder on. So that I have a reason to want to get up in the morning, and a reason to go to bed on time at night.
A real job would be nice, for two reasons. First of all, the money. I don't like to have to worry if I'll be able to pay for the next bill, and I don't like feeling that I can't buy stuff because the budget is too tight. If I don't buy stuff, I want it to be because it's not worth it, not because I simply can't afford it. Secondly, a real job would give me something to be for at least 8 hours a day. And then when I come home, I can just relax and be glad that I'm not at work, and the contrast between the two activities will supply me with enough variety that I can classify this existence as a life.
Maybe if I had more friends that I could hang out with. I've been spending a lot of time at my cousin's apartment, hanging out with her and her cute roommates, but sometimes they're busy, or they're not home. And sometimes I feel like I'm imposing on them. I mean, just because I don't have a life doesn't mean that I should intrude on theirs, does it?
Just give me something to do. Something real, something I can obsess over and think about all day and half the night. Something to distract me from this thing called my life.