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Dating Question
added Tue March 10 2009 at 12:02 AM

I have a long-standing policy that I don't date girls that I home teach. On the surface, it's because I don't want a failed attempt at a relationship make them feel like they can't call their home teachers. But I've been wondering lately if in reality it's just an excuse for me to limit my dating pool as much as possible, preferably to the point of not being able to date anybody at all.

There's a formal dance at the institute this Saturday, so yesterday I asked L if she'd like to go. She's a real sweet girl - cute, smart, friendly. She said that her sister's going to be in town and asked if she could give me an answer after she talked to her sister about it. I really want to take it at face value (family in town), but I do worry that she's too nice to be able to say no if she just didn't want to go with me. She asked for a rain check, so I'll give it a couple weeks and see what happens.

The next girl I was planning to ask I just found out this evening has a boyfriend. A long-distance relationship, but I'm not a close enough friend to be able to say that we're just going as friends. And I have no intention of dating someone else's girlfriend. I think I've had enough drama this month that I'll pass on that.

I have no intention of going alone, in a large part because I'm pretty sure that A will be there and I don't want to run into her alone just yet. She still hasn't called or written me. Maybe part of me wants her to be as jealous seeing me having fun with someone else as I'm sure I'll be seeing her with another guy. But even more important, I want to be able to pretend I don't care if I see her or not - pretend that I've moved on and I'm getting by just fine without her.

Which leaves me with one final girl that I was considering asking to this. And the problem is that I'm her home teacher now. I don't know her very well and I'm probably not the best home teacher anyway. We didn't make it last month even though we got the new home teaching lists near the beginning of the month. But she seems smart and nice and I think she's cute in a shy, understated way. So... am I justified in my "no dating home teachees" rule? Do I ask M, or do I find something else to do on Saturday?


Merry says:
Go ahead and ask her! It can't hurt to go on one date. But don't pursue a relationship (the part that would make it awkward for her to call her home teachers) unless she gives you some absolutely clear signs. My roommate Lori married our home teacher.
posted Tue March 10 2009 at 1:44 AM


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