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Going crazy
added Mon June 07 2004 at 11:18 PM
I wrote a letter to Danny over the weekend and sent it to her email. It felt rather Junior High, but at the same time, things needed to be said. Basically, I was just explaining my stand on various issues, including relationships in general, mission, etc. I thought about including a couple quotes from that letter, but I think most of it is stuff that I've talked about before. Pretty much saying that I can't tell her why I haven't been on a mission, I don't know if I'll go, and I understand the social implications that has. Also said that I wasn't looking for potential marriage, but somebody to help take away the loneliness.

That kind of thing... Nice, long letter spelling out where I stand on a lot of BYU nonsense. I sent it on Saturday.

And haven't heard from her since.

First of all, I know that I'm being paranoid. But on the other hand, it really does feel like she avoiding me. It's funny, because when we're together, I definitely get the feeling that she's interested (the way she acts, and moves, etc). I may not be an expert on picking up signs, but these were all pretty in-your-face obvious. However, the last couple weeks, it seems like when we're not together, she has no desire to get together, and right now I'm going crazy because I know that she realizes all she has to do to talk to me is turn on AIM and I'd say hi. Or send an email. Or something. And yet she doesn't.

I'm used to rejection, but I'd at least like to have my heart handed back to me. I hate having it torn out and held away for such long periods of times. As I hold my breath and hope to get an email or message from her one way or the other.


big sis says:
hang in there jp.... you're still doing ok... sometimes it takes a while to respond to that kind of thing... give it another day or so and then show up somewhere where you guys will have time to talk and with flowers since they are your trade mark.

and if she doesn't tell you to get lost, just keep coming around, if she doesn't say no when given the opertunity then she's slowly coming around, and if you're there, not in the creepy I'm stalking you sense, but they spontenous I have something fun to do and you should come along sense she'll hopefully realize how awesome of a boy you can be, and how semi shallow the RM only requirement is If you can't look beyond someone's title....

hang in there! get out and do something fun, find a good book to read, visit someplace new, and smile some :)

posted Sat September 23 2006 at 1:58 PM

mom says:
Remember, you are loved (and love-able). You do not know what kind of reaction she is getting from those other people in her life or what she may be up against in facing changes. Be patient...follow the big sister advice. If she does not say outright "No go away"...and you can handle just another friend...then keep being a friend and offer ideas of things friends can do together. Push the idea of friendship...not pushy on relationships. It is really hard to go against the common flow, not everyone can handle being different.
posted Sat September 23 2006 at 1:58 PM

Jillian says:
posted Sat September 23 2006 at 1:58 PM


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