print_r($recent);

Array
(
 [545]=>Collections
 [544]=>Good morning
 [543]=>You know the fee...
 [542]=>Date more, care ...
 [541]=>Moving On
)

 

RAMCal(date('my'));

October 2018
sun mon tue wed thu fri sat
  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31      
             
archives(RAM);


print_r($newStuff);

Array
(
 [RAndoMness]=> 28Sep09
 [JPsDocs] => 22Feb09
 [JPics] => 10Dec11
 [frontpage]
 [FeedBack]
)

recent music
Boycott SONY

print_r($background);
Array
(
 [today]=>
 [past]=>backgrounds
)


 

  getentry(107); getentry(109);
printentry(108);

   
all choked up
added Sat September 27 2003 at 9:09 PM
0 comments
I used to wonder what that saying meant. All choked up? I mean... ummm. Lame.

Over the years, either my asthma's gotten worse, or I've become more emotional. I don't want to try to guess which one, because it's not a pretty thought either way.

But all of a sudden, something in the middle of my chest just squeezes shut. Not completely unlike the panic attacks that I've had before. Then, my eyes start to feel really big, like there's a waterfall trying to get out. And I'm gonna stop the explanation there before I embarass myself. No, I did not cry.

Just looking over past RandOMnesS entries. Couple of reasons... first, I'm bored and I don't wanna do my homework. Second, Merry mentioned something that she was trying to work her way through all 100 entries. I figured I'd better go through them and make sure that I didn't say anything that she wasn't supposed to read. Nope, there's nothing that she isn't supposed to read, although there is at least one entry that might be tough for her to read, since I don't know if she fully realized why she got that flower.

The first couple months' worth of entries were entertaining and somewhat reminiscent (I know, my spelling isn't quite right, but I don't really care right now). It wasn't until I started getting into my entries from summer that I got all choked up. It's hard to explain exactly why. A large part of it is because it reminded me of people that are not with me anymore. Correction... it reminded me of people that I'm not with anymore. Either way, through all the horrible struggles of my summer, there were a few people that I'm gonna miss. And they don't ever read this, so they'll never know. Maybe they don't care, and maybe I won't be able to tell them later.

Take a couple deep breaths, say a prayer of thanks for the memories, and one of comfort and the ability to forget.

JP

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