[544]=>Good morning
 [543]=>You know the fee...
 [542]=>Date more, care ...
 [541]=>Moving On



April 2004
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 [RAndoMness]=> 28Sep09
 [JPsDocs] => 22Feb09
 [JPics] => 10Dec11

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Grey-Skied Morning
added Thu April 08 2004 at 4:57 PM
I've spent probably 24 of the last 36 hours in bed. This morning was the first time that I debated not going to work. That's not to imply that I've never missed work before, because everybody knows that I have a tendency to sleep through that early 7 am shift. Usually, the only time I miss it, though, is because I'm not awake to decide to go.

This morning, I woke up late, and was awake enough to realize that I should be at work. Usually this realization alone is enough to make me pop out of bed, put a shirt on, and run out the door.

Not this morning. As I gathered my senses enough to get my day moving, I wanted nothing more than to lay back down. In the grey almost-morning hours, I lay my head back on the pillow and wanted to stay there. Not because I was especially tired, because I asn't necessarily. I just didn't want to be awake.

I did eventually pry myself out the door and into the grey-skied reality. The bad day at work was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I couldn't think, and I couldn't see the solutions, let alone explain the intricacies thereof. I came home, lay myself back down and tried my best to ignore the world for the next 6 hours.

And I succeeded. Somehow, I convinced myself to go to choir, but still haven't decided that it was worthwhile. I still imagine myself with my head laid on the pillow, staring into space as the time slips slowly, reluctantly through the reality that is far from my mind.

added Thu April 08 2004 at 8:02 PM
It's rather sad... I don't even feel like doing anything on my computer. I'm sure that if I currently had a game I was playing nonstop, I'd be playing it, just because it would cause all real brain activity to cease. I don't care enough to find something to deaden the senses, though.

I've three tests tomorrow... One for a late fee in the testing center, two in class. I'm not going to pretend that I deserve a good grade on any of them. I'm gonna bomb them. Yet somehow, it's hard to care enough to make myself study...