[544]=>Good morning
 [543]=>You know the fee...
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 [541]=>Moving On



September 2003
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 [RAndoMness]=> 28Sep09
 [JPsDocs] => 22Feb09
 [JPics] => 10Dec11

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A good recipe for Fried Brains
added Mon September 29 2003 at 8:48 PM
At least I got a decent amount of sleep last night. And a little bit too much this morning. I'm sure that the fried brains would have turned out a little bit better had I properly prepared them by pulling an all nighter. Excepting that, I think I hit every other important ingredient for quality fried brains:

First, it helps if you sleep in by about an hour and a half. By the time you *do* wake up, you don't have time to do anything but throw on a clean shirt and run out the door. This is especially helpful when you know you have a quiz in your second class, so you start stressing about your quiz score as you speed walk to your first class.

Second, skip breakfast. I guess this is a continuation of the first ingredient, because I always eat breakfast unless eating breakfast means I don't have time to put on a shirt. However, this ingredient is an important key regardless of how rushed you are to get out the door. If you remember to eat breakfast, then you might actually have energy to focus on what you need to do.

Third, try to put as many classes as you can on one day. If you have more than a 30 minute break anytime between 8 am and 6 pm, then your brain will have a small hope of recovery and may not fry completely to the center. I do believe there might be a small corner that was somehow unscathed, mostly because I had an hour during those times to try to run a few errands. Unfortunately, because I woke up late, I did not have a chance to shower, so I decided to make that a priority during my one hour break.

Fourth, make sure that most of your classes are math or science classes... in a history, english, or religion class, you might be able to get away with mindlessly writing down whatever your neighbor writes in her notes. Instead, you should have to think every possible second while the professor writes abstract equations involving 'j's that should be 'i's. Unfortunately, one of my classes was a religion class, which is why I only have a fried brain, and not a broiled one. This detail is partially made up for by the fact that the quiz was in this class.

Fifth, take a job as a math lab TA. I love math, and I really do enjoy helping people with it but when you get in the math lab, the questions get really tricky and they come rapid fire. There is no chance to breath. Furthermore, you will be required to try to help the person that is most stressed out in the entire room. There is a very good reason why she is stressed out. She is working on a homework assignment that I am very glad only counted against me on one test in math 113. Seeing as you do not fully understand the material yourself, it is naturally assumed that you will be able to rationally think the entire problem through from start to finish and give a detailed (yet concise) answer within thirty seconds. Oh yeah... and you can't put up a flag to call for a TA, because, well... you are a TA.

Fourth, make sure that you don't have time for lunch. If you are able to cram anything more than a banana in your mouth during your day between 8 am and 6 pm, then you're brain will be rather tough instead of soft and mushy on the inside. This is highly undesirable for a proper fried brain, so you should (if at all possible) avoid eating lunch. Of course, this means that the person sitting next to you in your lab will be eating an entire meal at about 3 pm, when you are getting the most hungry. This adds to the excitement as you try to remember how to find Thevenan's equivalent resistance and Norton's equivalent current source (no, Eliza, I really don't know what I'm talking about).

Third, sign up for any class taught by Dr. Mortenson. As he flies through an entire chapter in thirty seconds saying that this or that isn't very important, make sure you take proper notes of the few things he does say are important. Furthermore, keep in mind that the quiz next wednesday will not be on any of those few items that he classifies as important. Instead, the quiz will be taken entirely from the 100 pages of text book reading that you had 48 hours to read. Of course, you didn't read it, because you were too busy doing the homework for that class.

Second, well... ummm... darnit. I can't remember what was second.

First... wait a minute... This didn't start out as a countdown, did it? Shooooot.

Mix it all together and pour it into one very busy day. Turn the assignments onto high and watch it simmer for 10 hours (8 am to 6 pm). Fry until golden brown, and then toss in the oven at 450 to get the perfect golden brown crust and light, airy center. Serve warm. The leftovers can be chilled and eaten cold as a midnight snack.

The reason why my computer costs $5000
added Mon September 29 2003 at 9:37 PM
Check it out... Virginia Tech bought 1,100 Mac G5's for their Terascale Cluster. That's a *lot* of computing power. Unfortunately, they don't have any statistics on total effective processing power, and they haven't finished setting up yet, therefore no benchmarking statistics.

I can here David smiling from here... all of a sudden, his world seems a little bit less lonely;)


P.S. (Jacob... I'll buy you your "z71 Chevy siverado [sic]" if you buy me a Mac G5 cluster like this)